最近複雜的情緒讓我變的沈默。不想喝酒，連煙也不想吸了。可能是寂寞和孤獨到了極點。不開心，絕望，無奈，悲傷，無言。。。這些情緒不斷得浮現起來。 我是不是太固執，執著？ 是不是該聽身邊的朋友 的話走出陰影，往前走。 現在的我覺得很沒自我，不知有誰能幫助我這沒用的惡魔。。。
沒資格愛別人，沒優點和成績。沒理想，美夢想，沒希望。。。
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Qualification
When we were kids, parents & teachers like to qualify us base on our results & performance. When we grow up and go to the working society we are judge by our qualification and work performance. Either our attitude at work or results are key factors.
As we grow older we realize that the society and country determines the stress level and expectations. I read a post saying people complain about the high living standards and raising inflation rate. Common people are not able to catch up and services barely. I also have friends who are ambitious to be successful in self employed lines. Is it society that force us to lead complex and better life or can we choose our simple and carefree life?
By qualification I mean we have to qualify ourselves to be able to give the people we love a life they like? A life they feel comfortable with. I seen examples and I am also a person who lost my love for a reason that the futures seems too dim.
What is being together and trying hard for our future means? Does people has no faith in future together? Is there too much stress to handle that make us have the element of fear to even try?
I can say trying and you will know the outcome. But recently without my confidence I dun dare to attempt a career I like. I dun have the strength and courage to win her back.
I dun even have the guts to contact her. I start to doubt myself, people has been telling me to move on, so what if I move on, I can't turn back time, I can't seek a 2nd chance, I can't even have the qualification to love another new girl...
Is living just about breathing.
I remember once I heard, to be living is the freedom to choose. But I don't seems to be able to choose on my own....
Is never simple to find someone to love and be loved. Cause there are other factors to destroy this bond we think is so almighty.
As we grow older we realize that the society and country determines the stress level and expectations. I read a post saying people complain about the high living standards and raising inflation rate. Common people are not able to catch up and services barely. I also have friends who are ambitious to be successful in self employed lines. Is it society that force us to lead complex and better life or can we choose our simple and carefree life?
By qualification I mean we have to qualify ourselves to be able to give the people we love a life they like? A life they feel comfortable with. I seen examples and I am also a person who lost my love for a reason that the futures seems too dim.
What is being together and trying hard for our future means? Does people has no faith in future together? Is there too much stress to handle that make us have the element of fear to even try?
I can say trying and you will know the outcome. But recently without my confidence I dun dare to attempt a career I like. I dun have the strength and courage to win her back.
I dun even have the guts to contact her. I start to doubt myself, people has been telling me to move on, so what if I move on, I can't turn back time, I can't seek a 2nd chance, I can't even have the qualification to love another new girl...
Is living just about breathing.
I remember once I heard, to be living is the freedom to choose. But I don't seems to be able to choose on my own....
Is never simple to find someone to love and be loved. Cause there are other factors to destroy this bond we think is so almighty.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
可惜
突然間覺得可惜。一段真誠的感情沒了，不管原因是什麼只能用可惜來形容。無論是衝動，感情淡，不相配，都只是藉口。沒盡力才是真的。上天賦予人機會，是人選擇放棄這個機會。認為以後會有更好的。
其實時間能讓你遇見更好的也能讓你領悟你曾經擁有過最好的。
選擇權不一定是好的。。。
其實時間能讓你遇見更好的也能讓你領悟你曾經擁有過最好的。
選擇權不一定是好的。。。
遗失的美好
最近我问身边的朋友，如果再给你一次机会，你的决定是否一样？
我也问自己同样的问题，我的答案是＂会＂。因为我很爱她，我很珍惜和她的一切。可能可以的话，我能做得更好，让我没机会伤害她。
可能没有你的日子没意思没目标。可是没你的回忆这人生就没意义。虽然现在的我不开心，不快乐。但如果没有过和你的爱情，我就不是我。
现在的我不能保护和资格给你安全感，我不渴望任何未来，只能努力盼望一丝很微小的可能性。如果不能盼到只能孤独一人承受。。。
Saturday, May 11, 2013
對著海
人的大腦真奇妙。複雜到無可想像。最近沒法控制情緒和思想，一首歌，一句話，一個地點，一個留言 等等都能把隱藏已久的回憶翻出來。 過了九個月不只時時刻刻想你，反而覺得對你的思念沒減少而加深。。。
看見你的近況不經有擔心的感覺。一剎那粉碎了我強力的壓制自己。
不想被動搖可是無法自拔。
我的黑夜沒有盼不到晴天，我的生命也失去了唯一的你，在沒意義的生活該做什麼。
如果沒有你，喜歡這詞也毫無意識了。
無意間想起你的笑容，才意識我失去了這世界最珍貴的財富。。。
看見你的近況不經有擔心的感覺。一剎那粉碎了我強力的壓制自己。
不想被動搖可是無法自拔。
我的黑夜沒有盼不到晴天，我的生命也失去了唯一的你，在沒意義的生活該做什麼。
如果沒有你，喜歡這詞也毫無意識了。
無意間想起你的笑容，才意識我失去了這世界最珍貴的財富。。。
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Damn relationships
Had a short chat with a friend who is facing r/s issue. She mention this "damn relationship". I kinda agree. Is always hurt and misery following the short term happiness. Start to wonder if I have no expectation, u will be easily satisfied. But with expectation u might get disappointment.
We always choose to avoid or hide away from problems we faced, is a natural reaction. We always say we want to forget about this and that, but as long as u r thinking abt forgetting, we r actually reminding ourselves that we have not forgotten. Also deepening this incident in our mind.
Keep cool nd do something else.
Freedom is still my focus.
We always choose to avoid or hide away from problems we faced, is a natural reaction. We always say we want to forget about this and that, but as long as u r thinking abt forgetting, we r actually reminding ourselves that we have not forgotten. Also deepening this incident in our mind.
Keep cool nd do something else.
Freedom is still my focus.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
For Someone LOL
『當我閉上眼睛我想起了你』
『想起了我們曾經在一起』
『即使已經過去了很久』
『我回想起你還在我身邊的時候』
『回想起你是怎麼讓我的世界變得完整』
『但現在只有我獨自一個留下』
『我們談論愛和希望』
『希望我們可以開始屬於我們自己的生活』
『我希望我可以不依賴你』
『為什麼你要撕裂我的心』
『你說從現在開始會愛我』
『你讓我經歷了所有不開心的事』
『但我依然愛你』
『我試著把我最好的給你』
『我不值得你為我做的任何事』
『所有的事情都回到了記憶裡』
『我只希望知道謊言背後的真相』
『為什麼你要撕裂我的心』
『你說從現在開始會愛我』
『你讓我經歷了所有不開心的事』
『但我依然愛你』
『我試著把我最好的給你』
『我不值得你為我做的任何事』
『所有的事情都回到了記憶裡』
『我只希望知道謊言背後的真相』
『想起了我們曾經在一起』
『即使已經過去了很久』
『我回想起你還在我身邊的時候』
『回想起你是怎麼讓我的世界變得完整』
『但現在只有我獨自一個留下』
『我們談論愛和希望』
『希望我們可以開始屬於我們自己的生活』
『我希望我可以不依賴你』
『為什麼你要撕裂我的心』
『你說從現在開始會愛我』
『你讓我經歷了所有不開心的事』
『但我依然愛你』
『我試著把我最好的給你』
『我不值得你為我做的任何事』
『所有的事情都回到了記憶裡』
『我只希望知道謊言背後的真相』
『為什麼你要撕裂我的心』
『你說從現在開始會愛我』
『你讓我經歷了所有不開心的事』
『但我依然愛你』
『我試著把我最好的給你』
『我不值得你為我做的任何事』
『所有的事情都回到了記憶裡』
『我只希望知道謊言背後的真相』
两个爸爸 第25
看了第25集的两个爸爸，感觉了感动，理解了什么是崩溃，无奈和害怕失去。这部戏真的让我感动万分。 最近看戏都不敢想结局，林佑威在戏里的爆发，完全令我感受到当你有可能失去生命中最重要的人，那份无助和绝望，能让人崩溃。。。人一定会犯错，从痛苦走出来才能更坚强。言语和文字的伤害其实不是最痛的。无言地转身离开，这行动才是伤在心里最深处。
每个人都会经历这些，但只要告诉自己，会没事的，时间的长久，伤更痛，时间越长久，痛越淡。。。
每个人都会经历这些，但只要告诉自己，会没事的，时间的长久，伤更痛，时间越长久，痛越淡。。。
Positive & negative
Recently a close friend of mine was hurt. Also heard about other stories about my friends. I start to the closer I get to someone ill fate will fall upon. Am I cursed to be the demonic person or stay to these peaceful life? I wish to spend more time talking to them as I believe they need support and company..... But I myself do not believe in this theory. So ironic.
Middle of the night at 2am, still wide awake and wonder the following I read....
Middle of the night at 2am, still wide awake and wonder the following I read....
「後悔」和「遺憾」是兩個很相似但卻又截然不同的詞語，今天不如說說它們．
「後悔」就是對自己做過的事情感到懊悔，如果再有機會的話，我們會希望做了不同的事，作了不同的選擇．「後悔」是因為覺得自己起初做錯了，希望有補救的機會．
但「遺憾」卻不是如此．我們感到「遺憾」是因為世界上有些我們控制不了的東西，例如環境，別人的決定等等，基於我們不能控制的因素，造成了我們所不願意的結果．如果給我們再一次選擇的機會，我們也一樣會作出同樣的決定，因為環境根本沒有轉變過，我們一開始所作的決定，已經是我們所能作出的最好決定．即使給我從頭再來一次，結果也不會改變．
那麼，總的來說，「後悔」多是因為自己的錯誤，而「遺憾」則是因為環境的不足．從某個意義上來說，「後悔」是比較積極的，因為感覺上，自己的行為能夠改變事情的發展．但「遺憾」卻是充滿無奈．雖然自己已經盡力了，但世上總有力有不逮的事情呢．
近來發覺，其實人生實在有不少的遺憾．但也沒有辦法吧，自己已經盡了力作出最好的選擇了．人生總會有「遺憾」，因為世界不是完美的．但只要不令自己「後悔」，我想就可以了吧．
Monday, May 6, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
想法
人為什麼是人？ 因為人性。 這世界有六十億人類，有男有女，人人不一樣。每個人都有貪念，自私，情緒。人能原諒但不能遺忘。人會因為平淡而要改變。一想改變就貪心，要得更多。每個人都在利用彼此達到目標。 萬物皆空，該如何才能不會不開心。 看見別人的故事，想起了自己的過去。就算有理想，沒有鼓勵和貪念怎麼才能成功。。。不想讓關心自己的人擔心也不想做自己不自在的事。
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Dare to dream II
As life goes on I have no idea what I'm working for, no purpose, no life, no dreams.
Have been hanging out with my great colleagues and lots of encouragement from them. Yet I still sense no urge to strife hard for money or excellent life. Thoughts has rise from my lonely heart. Y is it that others deserve 2nd chance and can be forgiven by others. Y is it I dun deserve another chance. I wonder is it me or my fate.
I just want nothing and to obtain this stage I must give up on everything, just like how life has given up on me.
Have been hanging out with my great colleagues and lots of encouragement from them. Yet I still sense no urge to strife hard for money or excellent life. Thoughts has rise from my lonely heart. Y is it that others deserve 2nd chance and can be forgiven by others. Y is it I dun deserve another chance. I wonder is it me or my fate.
I just want nothing and to obtain this stage I must give up on everything, just like how life has given up on me.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
时间与淡忘
蓝色代表了忧郁，一个人的心情是会表达不同的颜色。
有特别的人能看见别人的生活色彩。
此刻的我就只能忧蓝色。
喜欢一个人是没办法控制的， 虽然时间能使人淡忘，
可是越想忘却更难忘记。
时间对于想 忘记的人是有帮助的。
对于不想任何人替代你的我，就演变成一种痛苦。
一种无法形容的痛，没法表达出来的情感。
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
A lot to do
Recently there seems to be lots to do. I must complete the training and move my career to another step. I still miss her with great memories. We all have to choose in life, is being happy enough or being able to enjoy freedom and things we want to do or get better? So many plans yet no spiritual and morale support to archive my goals.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Health, love, career
為了事業的選擇，把手放開。因為失去了你，沒了斗志，沒了目標。
日日夜夜的酒 只能讓我更清醒。提醒我失去妳有多痛。
就算有了事業，沒了快樂和幸福得感覺。
人生是個圈， 單我能停止這個圈的轉動。
可以說我不想有人取代妳在我心中的地位。
也能這樣說， 我不想傷害任何人。
日日夜夜的酒 只能讓我更清醒。提醒我失去妳有多痛。
就算有了事業，沒了快樂和幸福得感覺。
人生是個圈， 單我能停止這個圈的轉動。
可以說我不想有人取代妳在我心中的地位。
也能這樣說， 我不想傷害任何人。
Monday, March 25, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
想念
最近又特别想念她，一旦静下来就想念她。回想一起走过的日子，到过的地方，想和你一起去的地方。唱的歌也想起你。我很肯定我对你的感觉，但也很清楚你的坚决。虽然目前能符合你的要求可是完全没信心了。不想独自一人却不想让你失望。
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
New start
Decided to come back to this blog, with a new start a new environment everything seems well. But deep down I still feel a great lost without her. I totally has no feel or interest in anything else. Daily dosage of alcohol does not seems to be helpful. What is my path?
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